


Sunken

by jrench



Category: Smosh
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 00:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jrench/pseuds/jrench
Summary: One-shot, Shayne in the morning.





	Sunken

A long time ago, Shayne decided that he was going to love the world while he was still here.

This was not passive.

Life (and living) weighs heavier. It is the most real thing.

Sometimes he gets in his own head. For example, right now, in his room, he’s laying down on his bed. The sun, bright and hot in April, is coming onto him. He imagines he can feel the ground beneath him- through the mattress on the floor, through the floor, through the roots. He hasn’t been able to shower yet. He’s not sure what he’s grieving.

It could be the sleeplessness- and suddenly he feels warm. There was a guy. The one who caught him reading in the library on a Friday afternoon.

He turned to his side and scratched his leg. The humidifier in the corner of his room offered a break to the silence, and he focused his attention on it for a bit with his eyes closed.

He didn’t feel real or connected right now. _Right now_. It was important to remember that this was not how he had always felt, and that he could feel differently. April was difficult- the air outside matched the air inside, so he kept his windows opened. Nothing was different and everything was similar. Suddenly he caught an undercurrent- the sharp smell of a man’s skin -and he took in quick, light inhales to try to find it again.

Shayne grieves moments as he’s living them. One of them was the feeling of being about to cum. Partially because he never felt it often, partially because he could close his eyes. Suddenly the whole world was happening underneath his skin _a finger inside him, his legs moving apart by their own knowledge, like someone had taught them how to_. Shayne focused on the yellow of his comforter. He focused on the pattern of skin on his upper arm.

Moving tired muscles, Shayne shifted the weight on his body to look at the ceiling. He didn’t feel like checking his phone again. 

His name was Damien, The guy’s studio apartment was tiny. Damien went straight to the kitchen to finish the dishes he left there. _Damien pressing his mouth through Shayne’s jeans, heat hitting exactly-_

Shayne wasn’t sure what got him to say yes. The guy just sat next to him in the library, literally pulled up a chair, and asked what book he was reading. Confidence like a playboy, but he spoke like an absolute gentleman- it was the sexiest thing Shayne had ever experienced.

What time was it? Shayne was still upset, and he was worried he’d meet his roommates in the kitchen and have to- _be seen? Speak? What am I so uncomfortable with?_

Shayne thinks if he had to speak to someone he would bruise. He saw a deer the other day outside the sliding door- it ran along the fence, looking for a breach. He was scrolling through his feed, drinking coffee and listening to music. The deer ripped him from it, and he felt it was a sin to watch the deer with so much happening around him. He stopped his music, and locked his eyes outside where the deer had been. Through the gaps in the fence he could see the black outline of another animal on the other side, looking, barely able to see but able to hear, the deer on his side. Shayne sat in silence as the deer ran back into his sight and then out again, retracing it’s steps. Only after he saw it safely find the end of the fence and its black outline run past his area of the fence, only after that did he allow his morning to continue. And not without a pause for reverence.

Shayne knew he couldn’t spend the day waiting for the night. He rolled a bitten fingernail between his teeth. _The soft, soft, soft hands_ Shayne had forgotten that it was easier to be broken by something gentle than something strong.

Shayne could feel the oil in the hair and on his skin.

He grabbed his phone, opened it quickly, checked the time, and put on a song- some slow r&b jam. The girl singing sounded like she was from another world. The sound quality was terrible, and it didn’t do much, but Shayne felt a bit lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Short little thing I wrote watching a basketball game tonight. I might add more later?
> 
> On tumblr: @j-rench


End file.
